Back to the Basics - Happy Thoughts

I've abandoned this blog for awhile and well, I quite miss it. Tired of doing spring cleaning pretty much all day, so in order to prepare for spring, which happens to be 8-9 months away, I thought I'd think happy thoughts.

Happy thoughts

- dance parties with beckah shae and my nieces + nephews
- fresh handpicked blueberries
- finding an old CD you used to listen to all the time (Today I found Delirious)
- After a struggle and having to force myself out the door, running 10 miles.  The possibilities of how far you can run by foot and the freedom when you realize you can run out of your neighborhood.
- being up when noone else is
- the beach not in the summer, cool breeze, empty beaches, peace and quiet and waves
- sleeping in
- a clean carpet that you put your whole face on
- clean sheets for bedtime with cool temperatures inhouse
- Knowing that while life is confusing, direction comes from the Lord my Maker.  He loves me and is better than everything else.

The Story of My Ring

I've been neglecting my TRUE blog followers over the past two weeks.  It sure is hard and time consuming to blog all the time I tell you.

Well how have you all been? (as if you could answer)

It's been a hard weekend.  Sunday was seven months since Yeye passed away and then on Saturday I lost my ring, yes both engagement and wedding band.  I was searching for it on Saturday and then all day at church on Sunday, I was pretty much moping around thinking how sad it would make me to have only been married for less than two years and not having a ring for the next 30+ years of marriage.  Kevin could buy me another replacement if I didn't find it RIGHT?  Um... judging that this is the second time I've lost the diamond, I don't think I would let him buy me another one.  But then I was thinking that if I didn't find it, every time someone got engaged or anytime I saw someone with a ring, I'd just be staring at it and then it'd make me mope again.

Best piece of advice?  Of course, from Mama.  "If you lose it, you lose it."  She said it is the heart that really matters. So I convinced myself that yes, I would rather have my marriage than the ring.  For real, I would.  But I want my ring too!

Best source of comfort?  A sermon on Sunday where I learned that "Jesus wept" after seeing Mary's brokenness.  My lesson was not to get mad at God, after all, it was my fault, but to be broken before him and beg him to help me find it. =)

Best verse? I know this is slightly or very superstitious but sometimes I "feel" like bad things happen because God wants me to read my bible. And so I picked up that NIV and found the perfect verse for me... Psalm 34:18..."The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Of course, by now, you already know that I have FOUND the ring. And I've learned that you never find things when you actually look for them. They just decide to show up.  Yay! celebration!

CARDS!

A college friend, Sooz, visited me a few weeks ago and aside from introducing her to yogiberry and some tasty Chinese cuisine, we also made cards. How could my day have gotten better?

If you know me, I love paper and color and there is nothing more satisfying then making a mess with paper, scissors and glue.  In honor of the cards being given to mothers across the globe, Happy Mothers Day. Cards GALORE!

Wanna see my mother's day card? If you can keep a secret, one of the cards above is being reserved for tomorrow.  

Where's Waldo - My husband's latest prank

I have to say that life married to my husband is never boring.  He's a prankster and it makes me laugh.  Yes, we have a lot of fun together.

This past weekend, Julia and Jonathan and my grandma came over for a day of fun at their Auntie Bel and Uncle Kevin's and I'm not sure who had more fun, them or us!  

We played Chutes and Ladders (Julia won), then Kevin made up this game where you toss my old jewelry into a hole, we read books, ate popsicles, and then we made cards with Bel's scrapbooking stuff and then... well that's when we were going to go to the park. The only problem is we couldn't find Kevin!  Now you'd think that being much older than a 3 and 6 years old, I would have been able to find Kevin, but think again.

We went in our bedroom, jumped on the bed, looked in the closet, went in the bathroom and I was sure that he was in the tub.... nope! We looked in the hall closet.  If you've ever come into my house, it's only a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom, so really there aren't many places to hide. 

15 minutes after my husband hid, look where we found him!  If you've ever been in my house, I swear you would have been fooled too.   

Can't figure it out? Check out the second pictures. A classic where's waldo! These cardboard cutouts are from our wedding and have been next to our kitchen table for the past year and a half.  Not only have they scared neighbors and visitors when they come in, we put them to good use and scare each other=). 

Making HEADLINES!!

http://cleverlychanging.com/2011/04/manage-monday-fun-spring-cleaning-tip-clothing-swap/

Please check out my friend's site.  After a successful and super fun clothing swap a few weeks back, I now am more stylish not to mention now FAMOUS! 

If you're wondering, what's with all the baby stuff on this site, it's because my friend is a mother of twins and has the scoop on everything that's necessary for mothers. I have no babies, yet, but I still go to her site to reference things about cleaning and saving money and just to get inspired!

On your next list of things to do is to visit her site!

What One Day Off Can Do

I had a super duper spring break even though Kevin got the days off and I still went to work. Today I did take off and Kevin and I had an awesome staycation.  The plan was to go to the beach, but I was much happier with our plan B.  How'd the day go?

9:00am - Breakfast at Ize's Bagel Bakery - A few years back I went to Ize's at 7am in the morning and came back home with a bagel that literally had just been baked in the oven.  I love Ize's bagels and this morning Kev and I went there for our staycation breakfast.  The food was DEELICIOUS and of course, we did not pay full price.  HeLLLO Groupon!  We got a dozen bagels to go along with it. Yumyum.

10:00am - Target run - Our vacations typically always include some sort of run to a superstore like Target so we followed that tradition to make our "vacation" more productive.  It always feels nice just walking the aisles of Target and Kev and I always have fun there.  One time we decided to exercise and try to walk everyaisle of the store.  Got a little dizzy and probably made it around half of the place, but it was fun anyhow. Today our Target run was "normal" compared to other visits and I even was able to pick up some things for my sister while there! Woo hoo. 

11:15am - Tickets to the Movies - In my entire lifetime, I've literally gone to the theaters probably only a little more than 10 times.  It was either too expensive and I think our family wasn't really a movie family.  We typically watch movies at home. The last movie I watched in the theatre was with Kevin and we watched Rocky Balboa (He was trying to educate me since I had never watched any of the other Rocky movies).  My husband loves action movies with fighting and war and all that, but there was NO way I was going into a movie theater to watch that type of movie when I actually get a little scared watching cartoons on big screen sometimes.  Let's be serious, doesn't the music make things scarier?!?!  So instead of a thriller, we watched Soul Surfer and we both loved it.  I think the nuns who sat behind us loved it too.  That's how you know it's a safe movie. haha.  Not only was it an inspiring and real story, they had real actors in it that were good. I was also really surprised and happy to see that they portrayed Bethany's faith and included bible verses without making it sound cheesy.  I barely ever pay to watch movies in the theater for I'd say Bethany Hamilton's story is definitely one you should watch.  

3pm  - NAP - You know when you are feeling relaxed when you just take a nap in the middle of your day.  

4pm - 4 mile run.  NOT outside, are you kidding me? Today's heat made me sweat just sitting in the car, but a staycation would not be anygood without some exercise.  Oh and what made the run so enjoyable? Of course! Oprah!  Since I don't have a TV and I have been working around 4pm for the past few years, I have not been able to watch Oprah for way too long. I know people oppose how she's made her own religion and all, but honestly after Oprah is gone, I'm not sure there are any other talkshows worth watching.  

  

6pm - family dinner - Something I'm so thankful for is family, and cute family makes things even better!  My husband is quite cute and he also happens to be an amazing cook! He cooked dinner for family dinner tonight and even after having a super delicious breakfast, his dinner was still hands down tasty. How did I land a man who's got all 5 C's?  Sigh... in addition to him, I also feel so lucky to have landed a spot as aunt of the CUTEST CUTEST nieces and nephews. It's definitely like having children without the tantrums.=)  

8:30pm - Yogiberry and Trader Joes - I probably would not go on any other "staycations" if we didn't have some sort of ice cream treat.  So of course we topped off the night with froyo and a bar of dark chocolate with almonds at Trader Joes.  

Off to work again tomorrow, but feel refreshed.  God bless you this week.

Death and Old People - Not So Depressing After All

I've figured out that blogging prevents me from talking too much...to Kevin that is.=)  It's been awhile, but glad to be back blogging. There's almost too much that's been on my mind to share.

It seems like I talk about my grandpa, Yeye, a lot at least in my blogs.   While the world continues to go round and round, I still think about him and miss him.  It can make you feel alone sometimes when you feel like you need or really want someone's presence back, but yet everyone else seems to be able to get by without.  Since he passed away, Friday mornings still tend to hit me deep.  Tomorrow marks exactly six months since Yeye passed. Ironically it's also Good Friday when Jesus died and it also happens to be the 22nd, which is also the day Yeye passed in October.   I try not to be a basket case at work, but just imagine going to meetings where death is a common theme.

It sounds morbid, but in reality, it makes each day of work for me extremely meaningful, not to mention I'm easily in situations that can put me on the edge of tears.  Today I went to a program that our hospice took part in with the Hospice Foundation of America on "Spirituality at the End of Life".  Interesting topic huh?  Exactly.  One of the stories in this video that touched me most was a story of this woman whose husband had passed.   Before she took off her wedding ring after the death, she had a ritual where she went to her church and in front of her family and friends, the pastor or priest (can't remember) asked her vows again just like when she first got married.  As opposed to "Do you promise to?..." it was all stated in the past tense, "Did you take your husband to have and to hold... for better or worse, in sickness and in health?" "Were you faithful until the end?" The ceremony marked the importance of her ring and the vows she had taken in marriage and evenmore represented vows that she had kept until the end.  She was able to see her marriage as a vow that she had done well and completed. When she took off her ring it was framed and hung with her husbands ring.   To me, that's just beautiful and something I hope to do imagining that Kevin will pass before me.  And don't worry, he is well aware and has stated that he prefers go first!

Working in senior care and in hospice really gets my mind thinking and I feel like I'm filled with deep insight often.  I had the fortune of attending an online class with the Erickson School of Aging last week about dementia care. WOW is all I can say.  Honestly I can pick up books and put them down in a heartbeat (I don't love reading), but the book The Silverado Story is definitely a MUST READ. It's about this man who started a memory care community that is different than anywhere else around.  At Silverado, they believe that even when someone has dementia, they are not children, but still human beings that we can connect with. They each have a spirit within them that is very capable and alive.  Life does not need to end after someone becomes cognitively impaired.   

I often feel like our society has totally disrespected not just memory impaired people, but also older adults in general. And in fact, we often ignore them and even worse, we treat them and think of them like children.  When you're a teenager and your parent treats you like a child, how does that make you feel? Imagine being older and having your adult child treat you like the child? What does that do to your worth? How would that make you feel?  The Silverado Story reminded me that people with cognitive issues can still be treated much better and we can expect more from them. They can ride bikes, ride on boats, cook and build things even with memory impairment.  I thank God for the opportunity to get to read this book for work and for the opportunity to take this exceptional course where one of the founders of Silverado Senior Living is teaching the class. How often do you read a really really good book and then get to take a class taught by the author himself?  Umm.. pretty much NEVER!!  Reading this entire book (including acknowledgements!) encouraged and reminded me that me that even when everyone else is doing things one way, it can be healthy and loving to go against the norm.  

Side note- in reading the acknowledgements I realized that the main author goes to Rick Warren's church. Pretty cool!

Sabbath

Sabbaths haven't really been sabbaths lately and so this morning we skipped Sunday School and I had a good quality quiet time with God instead.  Sometimes you get so much into the habit of doing things, you forget that the purpose of church and Sunday School is really help us grow closer in our relationship with God and not just to be in attendance. So while I don't advise it on a weekly basis, I think sometimes skipping is good for me so I can refocus and remember the purpose of all the church stuff I do!

Honestly I wasn't looking forward to going to church too much this morning, and to be honest, I had a bad attitude, but as Kev and I drove to church, I remembered what Jesus said in the bible about how the healthy don't need a doctor, but the sick do. And then I remember how I always learned that church is supposed to like a hospital for those who are broken and so while i was grumpy going, I tried to remember that I was just visiting the doctor, because my bad attitude needed some fixing.

And I shouldn't have doubted, because once I got to church, God worked his number on me.  I think at these times I'm amazed by really how easily God can soften our hearts.  One cool thing was that my brother in law, Jason, was preaching so that was good for a change.  It can be weird listening to family preach because you know them in a different way, but God continues to speak and today through Jason God spoke to me about faith and reminded me to Go HARD after him.  

Dinner is calling me so I must go, but I must mention that one thing I am so thankful for is a husband who can still woo me with his cooking skills.  Sometimes I forget how good he is!

Money

This morning I listened to WGTS, a Christian radio station, and an interview they had with Michelle Singletary. If you read the Washington Post, you probably know her. She's got a column about money and I've read it many times. I was surprised to hear her on WGTS because I had never known she was a Christian and after hearing her interview this morning, I was pleasantly surprised. She's a bold lady, which I like and respect, and I found it really interesting how she talked about the numerous criticisms she got for writing about her trust in God in the beginning of her new book about financial freedom. In her column, she said she has to hold back her beliefs because she works in the secular world, but in this book she wanted to let people know who she believes in.  Not surprisingly and unfortunately, she mentioned that if you look on Amazon, a number of people commented things like "too bad she talks about God" and criticize her book and her for talking about her faith.  Similarly, I remember reading the Owl City blog post when Adam whats his name made his own rendition of "In Christ Alone" and professed his Christian faith on his blog.  It was first time he had done this and people criticized him. The Christians praised him, but those who listen to him regularly and love his songs, yet aren't Christians wrote things like "just don't include any more God stuff in any other of your songs", which is sad. They love his music, and liked who he was up until he said that God meant a lot to him.  Now I am no famous person but do you ever feel like persecuted or criticized for trying to follow God?  I understand why nonChristians sometimes despise Christians, sometimes I think it's just a conflict with their own beliefs, which I guess makes sense, but especially among people who grew up in the church, I often feel like it is taboo really to talk about God too much.  And if we bring up what God wants and how it conflicts with what we actually are doing in our lives, I feel like I get a big slap on the face and are treated as if I am trying to be too "holy".  This is not to say that I don't know people who really are gungho about God, but sometimes it feels like the majority of young church goers, want nice friends, but don't care about the Bible much.  Maybe that is why church can often be so boring. Because we aren't real with ourselves and we won't admit what we really believe.

I am fully convinced that half of the young adult population that goes to church isn't always completely honest about why they are at church. Sure they are searching for something, but I have a feeling that a lot of times if they have friends and people to be around, they could care less about God. Why do I say that? Well, it's taboo to talk too much about God. And I think in this area, people are much more consumed with hanging out, going out, buying new things and nice things, and just being...can I say it? A bit entitled and rich.  If you aren't educated, don't dress that well, and aren't outgoing, you probably won't fit in.  I don't feel like this area is very conducive to reflection, solitude, silence, and in turn, few people take the time to think through where they are at with God. It really takes a lot of intentionality and I agree, I have issues with this too sometimes.   I would rather shop online or at TJ Maxx then read the bible and journal or memorize verses.  It's a struggle.   I think that's why I completely respect people who in the midst of all this materialism, just live a simple life and are okay with that. While my dad is no youngin, I think he would fit in that category, as would my grandma, haha, and Kevin actually.  One thing I love about where I went to college (Houghton) is that I met many people who could eat a $5 meal and it wasn't considered crummy or bad quality.    It was more about hanging out with friends and less about the actual activity. I think those are the type of people who survived at Houghton. The mall was an hour and a half away and Subway was the closest "restaurant" and there were really only 3 to choose from in the nearby area without having to travel 40 minutes to go to Applebee's.  Good conversations and just hanging out with friends whether in the trails or in the dorms or in the dining room. You almost had to enjoy that or else you wouldn't make it there. 

This morning's broadcast really did make me think about my money and what I want to do with my life. Money really can do many things and if I want to be able to make a difference, I think my money has to get involved somehow. Sometimes I look at Kev and my condo and the stuff that we have. We have so much clothes, we have an extra room, we have such a nice place and all these nice kitchen utensils and a nice sofa and everything and I wonder, there's got to be more we can do with all this and the money that we have.  I really admired Michelle Singletary's boldness, honesty, and focus as she talked about how we should live our lives.  Okay, well time to get on with Saturday!   Just some of the million of thoughts going on in my head. More next time and maybe some pictures too.=)

My "I Wish" list

Okay let's be honest, we all at one time wish that we have things we don't have.  I'm not in the best of moods, mainly because I started getting hives yesterday and I am SO itchy!!  I have been pondering today how really fortunate I am to have a doctor, to have the ability to buy medications so easily and to have money to do so, to have a couch to sit on that is 140% comfy, to have a husband who says he'll take care of me, so really although I have an "I wish" list of pretty much complaints, I am oddly thankful at the same time.  Let's be honest though. Sometimes we just WISH things were a little different.  I thought I'd share that list today.

1. To start off, I wish I wasn't so itchy! Who thought of this condition? Being itchy is one of the worst things.
2. I wish that Kevin and I would both be healthy soon. Kevin is still coughing and recovering from his mono, strep, and ear infection and I was getting over a sinus infection that made my eyes hurt when these hives came along.
3. I wish I didn't have big bunions that hurt.
4. I wish I could run a marathon and not worry about my feet.
5. I wish I was taller so I didn't have to wear 2 inch boots or heels so that my pants don't drag.  Or so that I don't look like I'm 12 or just a midget.
6. I wish laundry and dishes just washed themselves!
7. I wish I could be married and live with Kev but also live with my grandma and the excitement of my nieces and nephews... but not have to live with Kevin in their house.=)
8. I wish I didn't get two cavities today.
9. I wish I could have my summer vacation soon.
10. I wish ice cream and desserts were full of vitamins instead of sugar.

Goodness! I feel so much better. Well, to conclude, I want to say that typically I would write that I wish my hair wasn't so darn crazy.  I still have not been able to unleash the hair stylist in me to help me have beautiful flowy hair, so I do tend to wear it up as often as possible, but I'm definitely coming to grips with my hair and starting to like it sometimes.  I give you permission to wish today.

I don't think I could ever say my life is boring.  I'm thankful for that.  Did I mention how I realized I have got to do a better job of taking care of myself? I think I tend to feel guilty often and often do things out of obligation and guilt and sometimes forget to do something to keep myself healthy. I wish I could do a better job of taking care of myself sometimes.  I want to do something yet I feel stuck sometimes and don't do it.  

 So for the past week I've been trying to do something everyday that allows me to take care of myself.  One day I spent about an hour writing. That was so nice. Another day I exercised, which was amazing, but typical.  Yesterday I decided going to my church's prayer meeting was what I wanted to do, and it was so encouraging, another day I pulled Kevin along and wanted to go visit his mom.  Fun.  And two days ago, I was brave and tried out Yoga 2 for the first time. That's right, not yoga 1, but yoga 2.  I was hesitant because I've never gone and I knew it was a busy class, but somehow things worked out and I went.  It was 75 minutes long, but I can tell you I've never been so thankful to try something new.  

This morning I attended a training on how kids deal with death. SO interesting and very enlightening. What God showed me through this training was how much he has loved me.  Preparing children for the death of a loved one, especially a parent is so important. By having the dying parent write letters to the child, talk to the child and share what is most important to them, discuss with the child what life will be after the death, leaving objects or memories for that child are important things to do to prepare children for death.  There's so much more.  But as I listened, I realized that while I'm not a child anymore, all the important things that can help a child cope with death a little better were things that happened in my life prior to Yeye's death.  In fact, God I think has been preparing me for the past ten years, and Yeye did a good job too probably not intentionally by leaving me with many pictures, many gifts/objects, and many memories that I am so thankful for.  He gave me this devotional book probably over five years ago and wrote me a letter instead starting it with "Dearest Isabel..." stating that he found that devotional book to be of good spiritual value. Didn't really read it much until he passed away and now what was seemingly a crumb on my shelf is a treasure to me now. He gave me one of his scarves maybe two years ago that he had never worn that is very nice quality and quite stylish.  And he attended my wedding, something I'm so thankful for.  What I'm even more thankful for is what he left behind for me.  For my wedding, he wrote his last piece of calligraphy and gave it to me. And of course, the day he passed, he said good bye.  And while it makes me cry, I feel so lucky because after Yeye died, I was left with no regrets, no hopes that I had spent more time with him, or loved him more.  And only God could have planned things so well.  Only he knew enough to place me in a new job where I would be even more prepared and taken care of.  Amazing!

I have never been so thankful for power until this week!  Our condo's thermostat went from 73 degrees down to 46-47 in just a few hours and Kevin and I, were freezing babies for two days.  Boiled water constantly to try and keep things warm and I was getting cabin fever and tired of having to go to sleep at 8 o'clock because there wasn't enough light. No internet connection meaning no daily audio bible.  BUT thank God for a gas stove and fire. One thing I love about power outages is getting to light candles and making smores.

I've never been so happy to go to work or just to see people either. I have to say on Wednesday, I was wishing for a snow day real bad, but after staying inside with Kev, who was sick and couldn't play in the snow with me, I wanted to go to work and was so excited to see and talk to people again.  With power out and toes about to break off, we also had Kev's college buddy come visit for the winter storm! A visitor during this!?!? How brave.  It was so much fun to have a visitor during such extreme conditions!  And nice that Kev's friend Ritter is a tough MK/soldier and was content staying in our humble igloo.    When he left he folded the eight something blankets he used so neatly.  I was very impressed.

Well, today is the day to clear out our candles, clean up all the crumbs I dropped while eating SMORES in the dark, and prepare for Sunday.  By preparing I mean that I'm making cookies for our teen's Sunday School.  I think this is my favorite part about teaching teens because it's an enjoyable and low stress to bake for them.  The teens are grateful for anything to eat and I get to try out some old and new recipes.

New Ingredients

Oh wow, it's been quite the month so far.  Some things that have made life exciting?  New things! I've decided that it's important to try new things, and in my opinion new ingredients add some nice spice to life!

Chinese kids do not eat feta and I have never thought to buy it UNTIL a few weeks ago.  I barely know how to use it, but it's just exciting to have something new and seemingly gourmet in my fridge.  I'm used to Kraft Singles American Cheese so exploring feta has been great. We made our very own greek salad a few weeks ago. Who knew you could make greek salad. sigh.. the things I learn.

The other ingredient I chose this past week was collard greens.  I didn't really know what they were. I'd heard of them but never tried them and now I kind of know why. They taste like bad bitter vegetables, which kind of works for me, but they sure don't go in salad or with oyster sauce that well.  But I guess that's what you get for trying new things.  Collard greens, just like feta are not what typical Chinese kids eat. Apparently it's a southern dish.  I'm happy to have been introduced to a new green though.

The grocery store is like my mall. So much fun...

Nothing Creative

I was backtracking and looking at the numerous other blogs I've had in my life.  It makes me feel boring now because my xanga/blogs used to be so interesting.  Is this what happens when you get older? Well, nevertheless, I've been able to slow down in life and I'm enjoying it a lot. Maybe that's a tradeoff for being less busy. I'm starting to realize that busyness in my life is just not good at all. This Sunday, I was reminded in the sermon that when we're busy, God cannot use us because we're not available.  I'm sure that God has used me in the past decade, but I'm wondering if God had something else he wanted me to do sometime in these past few years and he didn't bother to use me because I was too busy.  Too busy with school, too busy running, doing programs, eating, too busy trying to keep up with every single one of my friends that I've ever met in my life.

What I've noticed lately is that for the first time in awhile I haven't felt on edge when I'm driving. Maybe it's the "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" chapter I read on using your driving time to relax rather than getting angry at the selfish and arrogant drivers around.  People who drive slowly need more credit you know? I used to give dirty looks to anyone who would tail my car and then speed past like they were so important.  It would make me so angry. Sometimes I'd just have to try to breathe deeply, other days I would press my finger on an imaginary button on the steering wheel and imagine that the car that wronged me would blow up. I learned that method from a guy in college.

I am extremely thankful because last month (December) my grandma after many many years somehow taught me how to knit.  I know everyone is learning to knit now and it shouldn't seem that hard, but when I was little Mama tried to teach me multiple times and I got so frustrated and she got so frustrated that she taught me how to crochet instead.   Priscilla was smart so of course she learned to knit, but man it probably has been 15+ years since Mama last taught me and just last month, dream became reality!

My other praise to the Lord is that just yesterday I learned how to crochet this one difficult stitch that I thought Mama would never be able to teach me.  After Yeye passed away I have really realized that I can't take people especially my grandma for granted. So when I have time, I love to visit her and I've been pretty motivated to learn all I can from her. Mama is a master knitter/crocheter. I wish I could show you a video, but she is a speed machine when it comes to her fingers. For most of my crocheting career I have only made scarves and I literally only use one or two different stitches and just use different color yarn to make each scarf look different.  I wasn't sure I was going to be able to learn this difficult pattern that Mama was trying to show me. In fact, I was so hopeless that I was just hoping that she would crochet at least one more scarf with this pattern thinking that at least it would be one more memory I have of her.  I am so proud (clap clap clap) to say though that yesterday I learned this pattern and these scarves I'm sure will be in demand.  Place your orders everyone.=)  Pictures of my first finished scarf (with this pattern) will soon be posted.  Give me a few days.

I'm not sure why but I think I'm less honest the older I get and in some ways, that could also equate to more boring! AH, sigh.  I think I have a chronic condition aka addiction to blogging.  From xanga, to blogspot, and now even turning "Kevin and my" wedding blog into my own blog.  That's a sign of total addiction.

Anyways, today is one of those days where you stay inside even though you really just wish you could go outside.  I haven't touched outside ground or breathed in any fresh air and it's already 2pm.  I'm not sure why I'm so silly sometimes.  Maybe I think it takes too much effort to go out, or sometimes I'm scared to see people, or in some ways I could just be to lazy and too unmotivated to have to interact and behave normal altogether.  You must know what I'm talking about.  I think when I'm at home I can act as silly, as tired as I want, as grumpy as I want, hehe, and I can wear pj's and glasses and not have to try to look good AT all.  

Kevin just asked me if he could play videogames. I just realized that I have taught my husband so well. Him ask ME if he can play video games? Since we're on the topic of marriage, I found out a friend of mine separated from her husband this week. It happened a little while back, but she and I got married the same time so it was pretty disheartening to hear how these things happen. I have really a great husband, he really is top quality and cares for me so much, but when I hear stories of friends or other people who I know who divorce or have marital issues that are destroying their marriage I remember that I am not immune to any of that and I had better get off my lazy butt and be good to Kevin and strive to be a good helper to him.  I was ultra impressed because today as I listened to DAB, one woman had a prayer request because she had separated from her husband of 20 years and now her husband was married to the person he had an affair with. Anyways, she said she has been praying for the success of her husband and his new wife because she wants her four children not to have to see any more divorce. She also said she has been praying that although her husband left her, she is praying that he and his new wife would come back to the Lord.  Amazing to have that kind of love.   

Guns and Christians

With the most recent shootings, I realized that many people are against guns simply because a few people were stupid and abused the power of a gun to kill others.   As a result, many people despise guns, when in reality they really aren't that bad or bad at all.  I'm sure some of you would beg to differ.  I was always afraid of guns myself because I saw that in crime, guns were often what killed.  But then I went to school in small town world and realized that a whole lot of people in our country own guns and surprisingly, they aren't killers at all. 

Guns I've been thinking are a whole lot like Christians.  Never thought about it until this past weekend, but a lot of people, especially in the cities seem to really dislike Christians just as much as guns.  I hate to say it but I befriend people and I hear their bias against Christianity and while they like me, I often wonder if they still would if they knew that God was number one in my life.  I'm not sure they would.  Hmm.... Why is that?  I think it's that small number of people again who rather than abusing firearms call themselves Christians, go to church, tell people proudly they're Christians, yet totally do not live like they care about God and they really don't have a relationship with him. You see them on Sundays yet you also see them doing a whole of other things and they put out the worst reputation for Christians.   I hate that, because in reality, with God, we become more loving and the Holy Spirit if we listen and are in tune with God helps us to be radically loving making a dramatic difference in the lives of others.  

Alright the thought of the day..... time to sleep. Thank God for Friday. =)