It seems like I talk about my grandpa, Yeye, a lot at least in my blogs. While the world continues to go round and round, I still think about him and miss him. It can make you feel alone sometimes when you feel like you need or really want someone's presence back, but yet everyone else seems to be able to get by without. Since he passed away, Friday mornings still tend to hit me deep. Tomorrow marks exactly six months since Yeye passed. Ironically it's also Good Friday when Jesus died and it also happens to be the 22nd, which is also the day Yeye passed in October. I try not to be a basket case at work, but just imagine going to meetings where death is a common theme.
It sounds morbid, but in reality, it makes each day of work for me extremely meaningful, not to mention I'm easily in situations that can put me on the edge of tears. Today I went to a program that our hospice took part in with the Hospice Foundation of America on "Spirituality at the End of Life". Interesting topic huh? Exactly. One of the stories in this video that touched me most was a story of this woman whose husband had passed. Before she took off her wedding ring after the death, she had a ritual where she went to her church and in front of her family and friends, the pastor or priest (can't remember) asked her vows again just like when she first got married. As opposed to "Do you promise to?..." it was all stated in the past tense, "Did you take your husband to have and to hold... for better or worse, in sickness and in health?" "Were you faithful until the end?" The ceremony marked the importance of her ring and the vows she had taken in marriage and evenmore represented vows that she had kept until the end. She was able to see her marriage as a vow that she had done well and completed. When she took off her ring it was framed and hung with her husbands ring. To me, that's just beautiful and something I hope to do imagining that Kevin will pass before me. And don't worry, he is well aware and has stated that he prefers go first!
Working in senior care and in hospice really gets my mind thinking and I feel like I'm filled with deep insight often. I had the fortune of attending an online class with the Erickson School of Aging last week about dementia care. WOW is all I can say. Honestly I can pick up books and put them down in a heartbeat (I don't love reading), but the book The Silverado Story is definitely a MUST READ. It's about this man who started a memory care community that is different than anywhere else around. At Silverado, they believe that even when someone has dementia, they are not children, but still human beings that we can connect with. They each have a spirit within them that is very capable and alive. Life does not need to end after someone becomes cognitively impaired.
I often feel like our society has totally disrespected not just memory impaired people, but also older adults in general. And in fact, we often ignore them and even worse, we treat them and think of them like children. When you're a teenager and your parent treats you like a child, how does that make you feel? Imagine being older and having your adult child treat you like the child? What does that do to your worth? How would that make you feel? The Silverado Story reminded me that people with cognitive issues can still be treated much better and we can expect more from them. They can ride bikes, ride on boats, cook and build things even with memory impairment. I thank God for the opportunity to get to read this book for work and for the opportunity to take this exceptional course where one of the founders of Silverado Senior Living is teaching the class. How often do you read a really really good book and then get to take a class taught by the author himself? Umm.. pretty much NEVER!! Reading this entire book (including acknowledgements!) encouraged and reminded me that me that even when everyone else is doing things one way, it can be healthy and loving to go against the norm.
Side note- in reading the acknowledgements I realized that the main author goes to Rick Warren's church. Pretty cool!
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